Gut feeling

AAAAAA It's only 10AM and I'm already doing a blog post AAAAAA I'm going crazy and bursting with emotions. M.U.S.T. E.X.P.R.E.S.S.

I have this gut feeling. I've always had it actually. I feel like when I'm at school and socialising and making friends, I'm creating a hole. Yes, a hole, one that proves I have a place amongst my friends and classmates. But sometimes that hole can start to close. Like when you have an argument with someone, or you do something that everyone disapproves of. That hole can then close due to your 'place' degrading in everyone's hearts. Do you know what I mean?

Right now is a time when i feel like my hole is closing. It's the holidays, so isn't it supposed to be a time of fun and hanging out with friends? But I'm grounded. In case I haven't mentioned it enough, I'm grounded :'( Just for this week. But everything happens this week! And I can't go to any of them :( I keep rejecting people and my hole is slowly filling. By the end of this week the hole would be half-full and I would have missed out so much :(

There's another gut feeling. One that I've always had as well. If you are a Youtube person you would definitely know Juicystar07. If you've watched her 'Throughout the Years 10th Grade' you would know she got bullied for her videos and had to become homeschooled. I'm a Youtube person too and I make videos. The reason I have been keeping it amongst close friends is because of fear. Yes, fear. Fear that once people know, they will laugh at me and tease me for it. Not that my school is that type of school, but things do happen behind people's backs. People do talk without you knowing, or worse, with you knowing. Nothing like that has happened yet as far as I know and I hope it never will.

So if one day suddenly you can't find my blog or my channel or my videos anymore, you would know why.

Gosh that was so depressing :| But don't worry! For now I'm still happy me :) And I enjoy what I do so have no plan to stop this enjoyment any time soon.